More Not-so-imaginary friends

Not-so-imaginary Friends

As a child I always saw spirit of all kinds. Sometimes that feeling prickling of being watched made me scared. I couldn't find the words to the grown ups, most of whom didn't want to listen anyway. My families view on the supernatural was one of irritation or silence. All of my family has some degree of sight or knowing (which sounds delightful) in reality it wasn’t. As I aged my mother’s silence, her tight lipped glare at me, was enough for me to know that this was not a topic for discussion, especially around people.
I learned to watch and listen, ignore and fear, both my own mind (was I mad?) as well as spirit in general. After meeting a group of spiritualist mediums at the tender age of 18, I was surprised and elated to know, to speak, and to learn I was not mad and I was not alone. I have been walking with spirit ever since.
 Time after time, on Facebook groups and other pages the heartfelt plea goes out.
 “Help! My child sees…”
“Help there are spirits in my daughter’s room.”
“Help! My granddaughter is seeing things.”
As a mother myself of a mini witch and a medium if you have a child bothered by the things they see, feel or know I would gently suggest some simple things. I would also like to say that spirit are for the most part not evil, dark or nasty. Some spirits get lost, or stuck. Most cross over peacefully into a place of light so bright you cannot see into it. Spirits are most often people. Some are good, some are bad. Sometimes you might get faeries or “monsters”. Yet the level of understanding, internal fears, shape how they are seen and understood by children (and adults alike).

Talk about it. 

Children are far smarter than we give them credit for. If you can, make it a story or a game. This is especially so of bedtime stories.
"Once upon a time there was a boy/girl who was magickal, and they could do anything in their dreams..."
This allows children the power and understanding of that dreaming space. Listen to them. Not every closet monster is a spirit, but that doesn’t make them any less real for a child. It is far easier to externalize, and fantasize the fear, the shameful, the rage, than to accept those “dangerous” emotions as part of the self. They can also represent someone, or part of someone who frightens them when awake. Then there the giant lava penguins, just random nightmares kids get from time to time!


Songs and Games

Chants have power. In a ritual circle we can feel it bouncing back as the words spin round and round. You can use one of those chants (there are plenty of beautiful chants, especially on YouTube. Or you can write your own together. Kids won't always remember, especially when scared complicated protection spells. Here are some examples of simple sing-song rhymes.
"Circle, circle, round and bright, keeps me safe day and night."
"Shoo, Shoo, go away, I am busy! I cannot play." 
"In my dreams, I did see [what they saw] I don't mind they can't hurt me."
"In the candle, I can see [what they see] looking at me. They say [what they say] and now I say I am done!" (blow out candle.)


Kids smell fear.

My Mum was a music and supply teacher. Any teacher will tell you that kids can smell fear. In a school setting this can be anarchy. At home, if you are scared children will also be frightened. Accepting that these little ones are seeing things that are beyond their years can be overwhelmed enough for many adults! Letting go of your own fear is the easiest way to instill calm and confidence in a child. A child with this gift needs to be taught that it is a gift. If they are not, if they are taught that not only what they are seeing is “wrong” or “evil” but that they “wrong” or “evil” are for even seeing it, can change their whole relationship with spirit and themselves. My sister saw too. Yet she spoke out at school and some very unpleasant “Christian” children made her life hell. She was evil. She was unclean. She began to have nightmare and wake up screaming to be baptized. She was no older than 8. She never forgot that fear, especially of herself and refuses to even speak about spirit anymore.  If your child or grandchild has this gift, accept and love them for who they are.

Sleeping space.

   Making a child’s room a haven of peace and sleep and an established bedtime routine can help those with night terrors. I am a fan of soft soothing music that plays all night. Chamomile hot chocolate (you make up the chamomile tea then use it to make the instant hot chocolate) can also help children settle and find their sleep pattern. Even the regular kind from the supermarket is enough. My daughter was always a fan of a lavender foot rubs too and an empowering bedtime story. If she can ride dragons and climb mountains then she drifted off feeling positive about herself.
 I would often cast a circle around my daughter’s room if I was going to being doing a big ritual that night. Especially if there was going to be a lot of us. I just wanted her to have a nice bubble of peace and sleep around her, so our ruckus wouldn't wake her.


Make a protection charm

If making a charm it is important you don't just give it to them and that they help make it. This is about the child feeling helpless, which is frightening. Allowing them to feel that this is something they can control, gives them back the power.
They can chose something sparkly with lots of glitter and sweet herbs, or something ugly to scare stuff away. This isn’t a gender thing, my daughter loves gruesome! A pinch of dried basil and some rowan berries in either wouldn’t hurt.
You can use felt or fabric and they can make the pretty fairy, or gruesome goblin (or monster) and stuff it with glitter hearts for love, written "happy thoughts" (or awful thoughts like homework, sprouts and snot) you can add sweet herbs like rose petals (or St John’s Wort which is "pongy"). Then you sew it all up and then get them to hang it in their room where it will only allow good to come in or where they will scare the bad things away. They will know "where the bad stuff comes in". Don’t forget to leave a loop so you can hang it up!

Sweep the room.
Picking up a broom and cleaning and cleansing the space together is both helpful and therapeutic. Sweeping the floor, and even walls, can remove left over emotions and even memories in a space. If the place needs a super clean you can wash and scrub with soapy water with salt and basil and lavender essential oil in it. You can add a little of this mix to the laundry when washing the bedding too. You could smudge the space with cedarwood or sage, though I am not a fan of using smoke in young children’s rooms. If I do I make sure that the windows are wide open and it gets a good airing afterwards.


Keep talking
When things settle down grown ups tend to forget that kids will still need to talk about their dreams and their experiences. It is a good time to talk about, ask questions, or just connect. Asking who they see, what they see can be both beautiful and profound. I am lucky that when mini witch used to stand and babble in her cot, and I heard someone speaking back I knew that it was her great-grandmother watching over and I was delighted not afraid. I was surprised still how strongly she got her great grandmother’s accent as she did when she first started talking! It is also common for children to play with siblings that they are going to have or who passed before they were born. It is love that keeps us together. Love knows no death. Most spirit is not malicious or evil. Most spirit, even if it is only strong enough to manifest as a shadow, do no harm. If something happens you are unhappy or scared of and these measures have not worked, see a good professional medium. If you had problems with the pipes you would call a plumber right?
If your child or grandchild sees things, is often away, dancing with the fairies, do remember they are in the very best company.

I hope some of this helps. Blessings Lucy Drake.